A hell of a week

My 84yo Mum has been in a nursing home for a while now. Dad (also 84) goes every day to feed her lunch. She has good days and bad days, but she always kisses him back when he leaves for the day.  

Wednesday last week my Dad found out his cancer is back.  He already lost half a lung to this and requires operations to take half the other lung and a few centimetres of bowel.  He told the specialist that he needs to do this so he can keep taking care of Mum.

Sunday Mum had a stroke.  They thought on Monday she was dying and Dad spent hours dealing with doctors and staying with her.  She was moved to palliative care. My brother and his wife who live nearby stepped up, too.

Tuesday evening Dad tripped and fell at the petrol station. He was in a lot of pain but he didn't call an ambulance until this morning (Wednesday).  He's  broken his hip.  Operation tomorrow. 

Mum's developed an infection.

If Mum dies I have no doubt that Dad will go too. He is only struggling to recover to take care of her. They're a matched pair.

I had a dream when I fell asleep this afternoon: 

I dreamed that Dad had been taken to hospital and I was asking at the front desk where he was but no-one could tell me. Then I saw Mum, but every time I caught a glimpse of her and tried to follow she would disappear around the corner. I ran as fast as I could (which was pretty fast as I had no disabilities in my dream) but I couldn't  catch up with her.  Then I saw L (my friend whose husband is currently on palliative care for cancer) chatting at a table with some friends. She looked upset and I didn't like to disturb her but she saw me and came to ask how I was and give me a hug.  I told her that I couldn't find Mum, but she was with Dad and she must be around here somewhere.  I kept looking.

Yeah that dream is not subtle.

I'm 54. I know I'm lucky to have had my parents this long, but I don't want to let them go.